From 01/25/08: Fruity Good Deed of the Day

Those of you that work with me have probably already heard this story, so this is for the rest of you guys.
I work as a supervisor in the operating room. Part of my job is to try to keep the surgeons happy and wanting to return to our facility. I pretty much just put out fires all day. So, last week one of our esteemed surgeons got very angry with us over instrument issues. She was so mad that she did not even want to talk to me about it. Usually she is very good about vocalizing her concerns and how we could have done better. The reason she was mad was legit, so there was not much more that I could say except "sorry." She vowed to cancel all of her cases in the coming week. Well, she only cancelled a few and returned to us on Thursday. I went to the room to check on her and how things were going in her room. When I entered, she was in a great mood. She stated that she had a patient in the hospital who (for some reason or another) had been there a long time and had been in the same clothes. I guess her family could not make it home or did not have a car or something. The surgeon said she was a upset because she was going to bring this patient a tshirt since she had no other clothes. As I left the room, I realized that I had a great opportunity to do some PR with this doctor and maybe score some points for the hospital. I was trying to figure out who in our department might have some of the many hospital tshirts that they give out so that I could give it to the doctor for her patient. I remembered that the ER always has used clothes on hand to give to the patients that need them. I guess like people whose clothes have to cut off of them or homeless people that need some new duds. So, I called the ER charge nurse and she agreed to let me have a tshirt. As we sifted through their stash, i finally found one that was clean, did not have holes, and said "Woody's Longboards" on the front. Cool, a surfboard shirt would work. I knew the patient would be grateful and the doctor would be happy that we listened to her! I imagined the doctor commenting on how thoughtful our department was and how she could tell that we really put the patients first. I envisioned her embracing me and thanking me for going out of my way for her. (Heee, Heee, Heee, the PR machine at work). As I approached the operating room, I decided to check the back of the shirt in case there were any gun shot holes or anything gross stuck to it. To my surprise, the first thing I noticed were a HUGE pair of oversized breasts. They were on the body of woman on her knees in the sand on a beach. She had her head thrown back and mouth seductively parted. She was sitting on her calves and had her back arched so that her bottom and breasts stuck out even further. To top it off, in big bold letters above the porn star was the phrase "Nice Papayas." I was so mad because I was trying to do something nice and score a few brownie points. Instead, I brought her a shirt some trashy guy would wear! So, what did I do? I marched right into that room and told the doctor about how I was really trying to do something nice and help her out. I explained how I was trying to help out a needy patient. When I showed the doctor the tshirt, I was not sure what kind of a reaction I would get (you never know). She started laughing and said that the patient would love it- and she did. So, if you are in my hospital and see a lady (who knows how old she is. I would love to imagine that she was about 90) in a completely inappropriate shirt, you can thank me. I am all about promoting sexuality in our patients.