If it ain't green beans, it's crap.

Yesterday my daughter had a drop to the floor, super freak out because I would not cook asparagus for supper. When the super freak comes out, the kids go to their rooms to defrizz. Since she was little, the best method was to put her in bed and cover her up with a blanket. There's some magical force field under the blanket that sucks out the craziness. Works every time. I am always amazed at how she will go to town on the foul-pee-inducing stalks. I never even heard of asparagus until I was 24 and I never ate it until I was in my 30's. Did Mason even sell it? Why, when I was growing up (had to do it), we ate green beans with every meal. None of those fancy vegetables like aspargus, broccoli, or cauliflower. My poor mom, I bet she dreamed of having meals with something other than green beans or mashed potatoes. If we'd had enough money to have more than 5 channels and had the Food Network, I could see my mom salivating over the meals she couldn't cook. I bet she dreamed of the day when she could branch out with her culinary skills beyond meatloaf and spaghetti. I feel her pain. Hance is a picky eater. He is one of those people that will gag and almost puke if he eats something he does not like. And he doesn't fake it, it's a full on heave. It's the test we use to know if we need to make him finish something. No gag means you like it and you're gonna eat it. I'm sorry mom for being so picky.

Another VERY Interesting farm box blog

To my 4 followers, I do not intend for my blog to become "what I cooked out of my farm box." it's just what's happening now. Got a butt load of tomatoes. I've been wanting to make salsa since I never have. And, because of the extremely complex nature of the task, I thought it would be quite an accomplishment if I mastered it. I mean, the precision cutting and exact measurement of the ingredients- it takes quite a lady to pull that off. As I unloaded my box and packed my fridge, I found 5 beets from the last box. They were a little soft, but I figured I'd roast em up. Got that going and started looking for recipes. Where were we without the Internet? Found lots of recipes. I found a roasted salsa recipe that told how to roast tomatoes and peppers in a skillet. I've done over an open flame, but it was too much work and my hAnd/arm got too hot. With this,you line an iron skillet with foil and put the tomato and peppers on that. It was a lot more work that broiling them with all the flipping, but it best waiting on the beets (which took over an hour. Geez beets, I was tired. Had been up since 3:30a!) the roasting worked great. Oh there was also garlic in there, too. Food processed that up. It was yummy, but pretty dang spicy. Thankfully, I only made Bout a cup and a half. Still had lots of tomatoes and a couple of Peppers along with the overload of onions- so i made some pico. It was friggin' good. The beets turned out great, too. I am surprised I like them. They are weird but good, like my friends.Now I gotta cook a bunch if squash. Please stay tuned for another exciting edition of "what the heck am I gonna cook with this?"

Eggplant Fries

The Community Supported Agriculture (CSA) box of the week has once again forced me to learn to cook something new. This week, eggplant. I cooked eggplant once and something went horribly wrong. It tasted like cat butt. At least, what I think cat butt would be like. That was about 12 years ago. Upon the arrival of the eggplants last Friday, I knew I had to give it another shot. I had already contributed to the compost pile with the parsley and mint that arrived and wanted to use what I paid for. What do humans do with fresh parsley, other than garnish? These eggplants scared me, right down to my core. Since last year, I have grown more brave. After the chard chips and bok choy meals I made, I felt ready to take on the eggplant. My neighbor mentioned eggplant fries last year and that's what I went for. The prep was easy. I overcooked them somewhat. The thinner sliced ones sind of disintegrated on the inside, but the breading stayed intact. They could have used some more seasoning. They were very yummy, none the less. Here's the recipe, which I will probably modify on the next batch!

3/4 cups seasoned breadcrumbs
1 tsp salt
1/2 tsp ground pepper
1/2 cup parmesan cheese
1/2 tsp garlic powder
1 Medium eggplant
1 egg, slightly beaten

Heat over to 425
Mix breadcrumbs, salt, pepper, cheese, and garlic powder on  shallow plate. Beat egg in a shallow bowl. Spray a cookie sheet with non-stick spray. Peel the eggplant. Slice into thick french fry like pieces. Did in egg and then in breadcrumb mixture. Cook for 30 minutes. Check at that time for crispiness. Cook longer as needed. Serve with marinara. Ketchup works well, too!

Hope you enjoy! Don't be scared.

Feet of Craziness

About 10 years ago, I went to a local running store called Runtex to have them tell me what type of shoe I should wear to run. I'd been getting blisters on my arches, so I knew su'mn was up. Mr. Shoe Salesman/Running Expert watched me walk and said I pronated (turned my feet in) when I walked. He sold me the right type of shoe. As I recall, the blisters went away. However, after a few more months, I developed achilles tendonitis. So, I stopped running. A few months back, I took it up again. All was going pretty well, I got up to 4.5 miles. And then, the bottom of my right foot started hurting more (it had been sore for about a year) and my left front part of the ankle started to hurt, too. I started to lose range of motion and my calves were very tight. I finally decided it was time to go to the doctor. The podiatrist diagnosed me with plantar fascitis on the right and anterior tibialis tendonitis on the left. Apparently, the pronation pretty much caused all the problems. Great, if I'd listened to Mr Shoe Salesman 10 years ago, I wouldn't be going through all of this! The podiatrist sent me to physical therapy. Now that you know the background, the real story can begin.

Earlier today, I decided it was time to stop doing this getting well business half ass. I've been going to PT for 2 weeks and sort of doing my home exercises. The healing wasn't happening fast enough and I knew part of the problem was my non-compliance. So after work I went to Runtex to buy the special anti-pronation shoes I should have bought a month ago. The nice, but distracted sales guy wasn't so bad. He didn't think my giant feet looked so giant. So sweet. I trekked down to the mall to buy the podiatrist recommended OTC inserts. Once home, I started the on-my-way-to-PT preparation. Ladies, you know when you are going to see your gynecologist- there are certain "preparations" that must occur before you get there. If you get to go home BEFORE you go- you are set. Shower, clean underwear. The works! But, if you have to go straight from work, man, you have to plan ahead! Clean underwear in your purse and some sort of cleansing cloth/baby wipes. Thorough wipe down in the work bathroom if the doc is close by or thorough wipe down at his office if the drive is too far. You may never have body odor and never have that not-so-fresh-feeling, but you have this sense that on the drive over- your crotch will start to grow some sort of mildew or fungus.With my PT preparation, I wash my feet, change my socks, and put on different shoes. Today, I trimmed up my new inserts, put them into my expensive ass shoes, and put on my clean socks. I strutted around the house in them, feeling quite secure and properly aligned. I noticed that my legs were pretty hairy, so I did a quick dry shave. Bad idea since my legs were lizard skin dry. But, I had to shave. The PT is down there all up in my foot business, so I have to be fresh and clean. The last thing I want, is to be "that patient." The stinky foot cheese hairy leg patient. Yea, I know most of their patients probably have reeking feet, but I wanted to be the exception. When Gerta thinks back about me 8 years from now, I want her to remember me fondly. That cute, big footed chick who smelled like Bath and Body Works. On my drive to see Gerta I had a sudden realization, "oh friggin' no. I forgot to wash my feet." No turning around to go home, I'd be late. Could stop at CVS. Nahh. Too much Christmas stuff on sale I'd want to buy. I decided I'd get to the PT office and go into the restroom and do a quick wash. But, I wasn't sure I'd be able to get into a one holer. The multi-stall bathrooms would be quite tricky. Yea, I could wash in the sink, but the chances of another person entering the bathroom was pretty high. And, with my foot hiked up into the sink, I'd look pretty ridiculous. As I pondered my predicament, I remembered, "hey, I've go hand sanitizer. Hand santizer cleans stuff." Therefore, I removed my shoes and clean socks, slathered on sanitizer, and massaged it into my feet. I wiped it off with the gym towel I had lying in my passenger seat. When I strolled through the office building and into the PT office, I felt fresh and anew. I was ready for Gerta and her 6 foot frame. When I saw her standing there with her elastic waisted khaki slacks, pulled up high on her waist, polo shirt tucked in, broad shoulders, and thick manly thighs- I was ready. I was finally ready to be compliant. I was ready to be putty in her thick meaty paws. Massage away Gerta. Stretch away Gerta. My feet smell nice, my shoes align my bones, my inserts support my arch. I'm ready Gerta. Get to it.

Technology is Shrinking my Brain

Has anyone else noticed that they cannot remember anything anymore? Peers, older friends, young whipper snappers (will need to look up the origin of that later) noticed any changes over the past few years? In addition to having "mommy brain," I think I discovered another reason why I can't remember jack anymore. We don't have to remember anything anymore. Within seconds of something memorable occuring, we can text it, photograph it, post it, or call someone to report it. Remember in olden times (1996) when something happened to you, you had to wait until you got home to call someone- on your land line?. All day long you'd have to continually remind your self of the situation (no, not the Jersey Shore dude. Ahhh, remember those wonderful olden times when crap like that did not exist??) so you would not forget. Remember when you'd have to wait on the pictures to be developed to show such awesomeness as thong man on Lady Bird Lake (haven't seen him personally, but I've heard a lot about him. I am sure he has super tan, leathery buttocks like Leslie Cochran, which I've seen up close. Nayyyastaaayyy!). You'd have to prep your friends with lines like, "dude you will not BELIEVE what I saw in Austin. I can't WAIT until the pictures come in the mail!" When you met someone special, got their phone number on a napkin, and shoved it in your back pocket- you'd have to remember to take it out before you washed. Have you thought about whether the link to your soul mate disintegrated in Tide soup in your water guzzling, energy inefficient washing machine? Are you absolutely positive that you married the right person? What if your destiny was actually to end up with Joe Bob Billy Tom Dean? Ponder that for a moment. Now, rather than remember to take the napkin out of your pocket, when that tight Wrangler, massively starched shirt wearing tall drink of water approached, you could instantly whip out your phone, enter the numbers (listed as "Cowboy Hottie"), and promise to call. So, please be patient with us in the age of instantaneosity. Our brains are withering as technology advances further and further, so take it easy on us.

Another reason not to drive distracted

There are numerous reasons not to drive distracted. Most importantly is not to kill yourself or others. It would be unfair to your family to go and get 'urself kilt by participating in an activity that could wait. And imagine how you'd feel if killed someone else doing something stupid? Really, only damage and destruction can result in distracted driving. With that said, I must admit that I take part in this. However, since I have become keenly aware of it, I have started making the conscious effort not to do anything other than drive. I still talk on the cell phone while I drive, but I think I'm going to take the Oprah challenge and stop. As women, we pretty much do anything Oprah says anyway, right? What I have stopped doing is putting on my makeup when I drive. I didn't do it while the kids were in the car. Of course, why did I think it was ok to make my kids safer by being a better driver but no one else's? Great logic. I justified the makeup application by never taking my eyes off the road. I was like those that say "I drive better when I'm drunk. I pay more attention." I could rummage through my cosmetics bag and find everything I needed by touch. I could curl my eyelashes and apply mascara without wavering my view from the road. I had become quite the makeup artist on my drive to work. And, on top of that, I saved about a whole 10 minutes by doing it in the car and not at home. I'd like to say that my guilt about being an unsafe driver prompted me to stop. I'd like to say that as a responsible Texas driver, I stopped to become a better defensive driver. But, of course, that was not the case. I had to stop because my blush application started to look a little wild. Too many times at work I'd attend meetings and check my makeup once I got upstairs into the locker only to find that I looked like a drag queen. My blush was so dark (and usually only on one side) that I looked like I was on my way to Charlie's for a show. Some days I had evenly dark blush on each side and I looked like Kim Kardashian had applied it for me. Some days it looked like someone punched me in the cheekbones. Other times, the apples of my cheeks glowed like Shirley Temple's. I wonder what my coworkers thought when they saw me. Amanda looks like a Mary Kay nightmare. Amanda's getting her crazy on. So, Texas, your world is a safer place now that I will apply makeup at home.

The Bestest Cookies

I made these for my mom's birthday today. They rival "Mike the Cookie Man" from work. They are so good that I can't even stand it.

Mrs. Field's Cranberry White Chocolate Chip Cookies
1 Cup (2 sticks) butter, softened

1½ Cups light brown sugar
¼ Cup granulated sugar
2 eggs
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
2¾ Cups all-purpose flour
1 Cup rolled oats
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 teaspoon baking soda
¾ teaspoon salt
¼ teaspoon ground cinnamon
1½ Cups chopped dried cranberries
1 Cup chopped walnuts
¾ Cup white chocolate chips

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
2. In a large mixing bowl, cream together the butter, sugars, eggs and vanilla with an electric mixer on high speed.
3. In another bowl, mix together the flour, oats, baking powder, baking soda, salt and cinnamon.
4. Stir the dry ingredients into the wet stuff until blended. Stir in cranberries, walnuts and white chocolate.
5. Spoon ¼ Cup portions 2 inches apart onto a non-stick surface (parchment paper, Silpat or Release foil) on a baking sheet. Bake for 13 to 15 minutes or until edges of cookies are just beginning to brown. I check them after 13 minutes to see if they are a little brown. Cookies will still be soft in the center and not look done, but take them out JUST as the edges brown a little. Allow cookies to sit for at least 5 minutes before removing and placing on cooling rack.